OLD, says my Mom

I told my Mom two weeks ago that she was too old to keep ignoring her health. She reminded me that I ALSO was to OLD to keep ignoring my health. Why does 35 feel so young, when it truly isn't to far away from TOO OLD TO KEEP IGNORING the fact that life is slipping away without having done anything MEMORABLE in it?

HOLY CRAP

I just counted up how long since High School graduation and I counted all the way up to 18 years. HOLY CRAP!!! HOLY CRAP!!!
WHERE THE FUCK DID 18 YEARS GO????????????????????????????
What on earth have I done with myself the last 18 years. HOLY FREAKING CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mom in overtime

I am in overtime. :) One of my children is sick. Really sick. My "worry shift" began at 5 a.m. and I am now in overtime. 16 hours of worrying.

I have two boys. The oldest is 11 and the youngest 7. Now, the youngest is always getting sick with a cold or running fevers for no apparent reason. However, the oldest... he doesn't get sick often. He does have other disorders I spend my worrying on, but he doesn't get sick often and when he does..it is minor and doesn't last more than a day. Of course.. he has been hit by a car, cut off the tip of his toe, and broke his arm and wrist. LOL... good stuff to worry over.

BUT, you know what. Of all the minor sick things that a Mom has to worry over... I think a continual high fever is the winner... hands down.. His fever has been 101.5 since 5 a.m. One Tylenol didn't touch it. Two Tylenol brought it down to 99.7 for a couple hours. He just peaked to 102.6 and that is just to much for me. So, he just took two more Tylenol and tried to explain in his overly creative and I swear hallucinating way, how his throat was fighting air and that we are all being attacked. RIGHT. What I got out of that was that the air he was breathing hurt going down his throat.

Well, I can't be to worried. He dragged his butt out here to ask for Ramen Noodle soup. He sang a little of the song he is learning for the talent show. He is going to tackle Walking in Mephis. He is doing Lonestars version.

So, for now... overtime is over. I will be sure to clock back in after Midnight. :)

revelations

The Lord is working on me again. LOUDLY. I am going to share something that is absoluty INSANE, but I am going to share it anyway.

All growing up, if I had any belief in the Lord... I don't remember it. I have one rememberence of being in church before I was 15. I was young... under 7.. most likely 5. Sunday school. I vaguely remember doing something wrong, something about wanting attention. I got in trouble with my Mom. That is it. When I was 15, I decided I wanted to see what the Catholic Church was. So, I snuck in during service. Beautiful. that is it. I was a terribly difficult child, according to my Mother and apparently I lied alot. I can remember numerous times having to swear on a bible... which I lied easily on and which absolutly NOTHING to me. We didn't go to church. Then having that thrown back in my face.. how horrible I was for that.... I did not have a great childhood with my Mom.. but I won't get into that. My point was... I had no faith, because I felt I had no hope and no love. I do not remember how old I was when I read THE LION, THE WITCH, and THE WARDROBE. I had no clue untill the movie came out that there were any similiarities or any Christian meaning behind the book. I did know that the book was powerful and it moved me. The Character Aslan moved me. I had no God, no real faith in him... because I was questioning why he let me be so miserable. I somehow had childlike faith that Aslan was my Lord. I would pray to him. I would cry to him. I would beg for him. In time and age.. I outgrew that. ( Mercy, I am crying ) Now, tonight... I watched the movie for the very first time.. having no idea what the Christian hub bub was about.. only that the Christian faith backed the movie. Well, I can plainly, painfully and blessedly see that the Lord Jesus was working so hard on me then and wanted me so badly that he became Aslan FOR ME. TO CARRY ME. He carried me without me knowing it... through my teen years and into adulthood and he finally captured my hardened heart when I was 25.

Lord, Thank you. I love you so much. How I wish I had known it then. I am so sorry that you had to fight so hard for me and take my blastphemie all that time. Thank you for staying with me and carrying me.

JUST TOO OLD

I am just to old to keep ignoring my health like this.

I ended up with Pneumonia, but not because I ignored it, but because the other nurse practitioner I saw 2 weeks ago said I had a virus, but when I went in 2 days ago to see the other nurse.... I had the same exact symptoms and it was Pneumonia. So.. he fucked up and have been sick a hell of alot longer than I needed to be. Asshole.

Now, my nose is working funny and the house smells dusty and dirty. SO, I bought face masks and I started dusting. Right now I am resting. It doesn't take much to wear me out.

I am to old for this shit.