Friday!!!! HOORAY

I am a fan of American Idol. I am rooting for Chris, Taylor and Ace for the men and Paris and the other really young girl, whose name has left me.

It is Friday!! It is 100% humidity in Florida this morning. The papers on my desk are damp. BLECH. Sunday we get rain and a slight cool down. Looking forward to that. I have managed to keep the air off for a week now. That is monumental for me. But, the weather has been decent enough to stand it.

Nathan had a soccer game last night. He was a little in lala land. He played forward and defense, so I was pleased he got more playing time. He did manage to have some big saves, so he is proud of himself and he should be. Everybody came to watch him play!! Aunt Nikki and Hon and Aj and Christy and Jessie and Tj and Mikey and Me... so he hammed it up a bit. His Dad had to work late, so he missed this one game. That's all right.

Tj wants to play a sport. He talked to the counselor about it. He doesn't run very well. He is overweight, so he doesn't have stamina and his feet turn in, so he is always tripping. It would be a disaster. He is not athletic in the least and I don't really want to put him in a sport that he is gonna fail at. He is not a team player and he is so sensitive that if he got wacked by a ball, he would fall down crying and embarrass himself. I have explained to him that he needs to stick to what he is good at, which is music and art. That is who he is. But, it seems that he might be feeling a little jelous of his brothers new attention.

I get to go grocery shopping this weekend. Gonna be a doozy of a bill. LOL I need to pay bills today. There is no fun in that! BUT, I am happy to report that we are now enjoying the second month of not dragging bills into a new month. I am happy about that.

I gotta find a place to have Tj's birthday party. I don't really want to spend that kind of money, but having 15 boys at my house doesn't really send me either. Haha. The roller rink or the ice rink or the bowling alley or Greenwells. HMMM Which one, which one?

Well, I must be off and running. Have a nice day people.

Musings of my day

Is the real estate boom over? Yea. It is. Where I would have sold my house in 3 months.... is now gonna take much, much longer. I am not to happy about that. However, it is truly up to the Lord. It must be ALL in HIS time, not mine.

My turtle, Franklin, escaped the fish tank. I guess he has been gone for 2 days. NOT good. I moved the dresser the tank sits on, to see if he was stuck behind it and the the dresser fell apart. Now the tank is on my kitchen table and the 5 inch Goldfish is tossing me dirty looks over the move and lack of water.

Nathan is doing really good in Soccer. He loves it and he gets better every practice and every game. He is really throwing himself in there and getting it done for the game. It is sooooo much fun to watch those kids play. I think I would like to watch a professional soccer game on TV. I wonder if I would like it as much. I don't know. I don't like baseball on TV, but lurve it in person. HMMM

Mold, this whole state is moldy. Just thought you might want to know.

Some idiot is suing McDonalds because she was told there was no Gluten in the French Fries and she BELIEVED it. Ya know, if you got a serious allergy to a food item, why would you believe some dork behind the counter. I am allergic to Asperin. I take NOBODY's medicine unless I see the bottle with the ingrediants. Anyway. She will win the law suit and she can join the rank with the lady who sued over the hot coffee. DUH.

I got alot to do tomorrow. I blew off the whole day today. I did NOTHING. That was nice, but I will suffer for it. :) So, tomorrow I will do the flight of the bumble bee. Plus, I have alot to do for the Dr. I look forward to a busy day.

Such music

My kids weren't brought up on children's music and nursery ryhmes. How can ya tell? Nathan's bedtime music of choice this week is Motley Crue... At the tender age of 6, he is lulled to sleep to "Smokin in the boys' room" and "Home Sweet Home" LOL Todd jr. goes to sleep to a smorgasboard of Hip Hop and Alternative Rock on his computer. At 11, he listens to just about every genre of music. His Dad is so good at exposing us all to all types of music and we are richer for it. We all like Contemporary Christian to Alternative Rock to Opera and Contemporary Classical. Hmmmm.. good night Nathan.

The lows always lead to the highs

I feel emotionally good finally. I still miss my dog so much, but I have come to the place of letting it go.

I was let go from my night job!!! Yea!!! I must be the only idiot who is HAPPY to get fired. I spent 2 hours working for Dr. Paul and that felt so GOOD. I was able to concentrate 100% on the job I LOVE.

The boys are almost done with the outside of the house. They have one weekend of work left and then they move inside and tackle the bathrooms. I must, must start packing with ernest. That means serious purging and making tough decisions on what we ALL can live without for the next 6 months. It also means that I must start interviewing Real Estate Agents. No easy matter there. It also means that I can start the hard, physical task of landscaping. So much to do!!

The weather went from ICE on the windshield to warm, Spring weather. I wake up hearing the birds singing and chirpiing through the open windows. It is so peacefull to wake up that way.
I am anxious to get out and garden and put up homemade bird feeders.

We opted to put off the trip to Georgia until summer. We don't have the time to get the kind of money together that we would need to go comfortably. I was dissapointed, but I want to go with MONEY, so I can enjoy the trip and see and do what we want and not worry about it.

All in all, life has evened out and I am feeling comfortable and emotionally steady. Give it time though..:)

God spoke to Nathan

God spoke to Nathan. On the day Lucy died, Nathan said he asked God to give Lucy one more chance and all her heard was the word NO! He said he hears that alot from God. I wonder what he is asking for. Then two days later we were driving to the counselors office and Nathan points to the sky and says the cloud looks just like Lucy and that one a swan. ( I didn't see anything in the clouds) Then he finishes with this comment, "God shows us those who died so we know they are okay." I think he is right, because God also showed me someone who went to Heaven, by shaping them in the clouds. I swear by it and Nathan knows nothing about it. Matter of fact, Nathan has very little training in the Lord, but apparently he is well connected to Him.
I am more comforted now and I am doing less crying. I still feel a deep sense of loss and lonliness, but I have comfort.

I am so broken

My dog passed away. Actually, she got really sick and I couldn't provide the care she needed and she was dieing and I put her down to end her misery. I may never get over her sad, pleading eyes looking at me to help her. She lost 12 pounds in a week. She could barely walk more than a few steps without callapsing. She was dehydrated and hadn't eaten in 7 days. She couldn't even keep water down. She lived long enough to greet me Good Morning, drag herself in to the room to kiss the boys and get her to the vet to be put down. I held her head and kissed her and stroked her and prayed the Lord's prayer while the shot was administered. I let her go and told her I wouldn't leave her untill she was gone.
I am so lost and so empty and so heavy. I napped and woke up and felt a dog against my back, and for a split second I thought it was just a nightmare and she was really here and I felt elated and then reality sank in and my emotions were crushed.
For some people, a pet is just a pet and nothing more. To me, she was a companion and a friend and my comfort and my shadow. She wouldn't even go to bed without me. She would harrass me untill I would come to bed. She laid under the desk and she sat on the couch with me and stood under my feet in the kitchen. If I was outside, she had to be out there with me. If I went to the bathroom, she went to. She barked at everything under the sun. She couldn't stand having that back door shut. It HAD to be open. She was a hound and talk .. boy she had a lot to say all the time. Her ears were so soft. I would just love to stroke her ear between my fingers.
Kira keeps searching rooms for her sister. She hasn't been alone in her life, except for the 2 weeks after Elmo passed away. How is Kira gonna be all alone. Who will wash her face and clean her ears. Kira kept trying to get Lucy to love on her. Kira would lick Lucy's muzzles and Lucy would nuzzle back, but in the end she wouldn't respond.
It is so damn quiet in here and she isn't on the couch where she would be right now. The door isn't hanging wide open and she isn't gonna cuddle with me at bed time.
I don't know why she had only 4 years with me. I don't know what purpose her death serves, except to straddle me with more guilt over not having enough money. I trust the Lord enough that he knows what he is doing and that is not wanting and she is not scared and she is being loved my him now.
I will see you again, Lucy. Like I told you.. Find Elmo and look for Smokey.. he is coming soon too. Wait for me and I love you.