Another good day so far

Of course it is 10:58 p.m. and my husband is out working still. Once he makes it home, then I will consider it a good day.
Anyway, Todd finished all but one assignment today. I had to make him stop. He was starting to Tic. I see that hours and hours of computer work makes his body tense and he stresses out without realizing it and then it comes out in Tics. Those break my heart. So, he can finish his last assignment on Sunday.
Nathan took his spelling test in PROTEST. He got an 80. Then he did about 5 minutes of math in SERIOUS PROTEST. That was better than nothing. He will come around eventually.
It is bedtime for everyone now. I have to get up early.

It is a good morning

My husband got the day off. I love that!!! It is so nice to have him home. He works so much and I miss him. The company hired some more employees and the work is slowing down a bit. I am relieved, but I will miss the $1000 a week. Thats okay though. I love him more than the money.

I am loving watching my Nephew. I adore that little boy. He is so precious. Nathan and Todd love having him around. I hung up a counting picture banner down my hallway, just for him. I will homeschool him too. :)

We are off to drop the dog at the groomer and go eat breakfast.

God willing, it will be a good day all day.

Thank you Mommy

This week, while my brother and I were cleaning out Mom's house, I found what I had been hoping to find. I had given up hope, but Mom knows me well. We were cleaning out the attic and bringing down the Christmas decorations. As I went through her Christmas stuff, I found a goodbye letter. It was like finding my Mom dead all over again. It hurt so much. She wrote it 7 years ago, when she first fell ill and she packed it up with the ornaments. I am a Christmas freak and that was the perfect place to put it. She knew I would find it and said so in her letter. I am so thankfull that she wrote me. I am so thankfull to have it. I needed to read it and hear her one more time. Strangly enough, one her comments in the letter is the same as the comment in the dream I had with her. (see former posts) That was comforting. She did come to me in a dream and she was real. (heavy sigh) I write letters to my children alot and leave them in their baby book. I want them to be able to read how I felt about them, once I am gone. I want them to have that last tangible piece of me. Apparently, so did my Mom.

I love you, Mommy. I miss you so much. I miss EVERY aspect of our relationship.. good or bad. I miss talking to you every day. I am so lost without you. But, I know that you are so much happier and so much more comfortable and I know that someday I will see you again. I hope and pray that you can hear me everytime I talk to you. I hope I am not just talking into thin air. I hope you can see what Rick and I are doing. I hope you can see that your beloved dogs are cared for and loved and happy. I hope you can see what your Grandson is doing and that he is singing in a the city choir.. just like you. I hope you are enjoying your time without your Mom. LOL I hope you are pleased at how I am caring for her and handling my Uncle.

Thank you for leaving the letter. I love you too, Mommy.

Random Thoughts

My brother is very emotional when he drinks.
Prozac makes me high.
That is not a bad thing. :)
I need a schedule.
I still have tons and tons of stuff to do.
I am supposed to see a foot doctor to find out what that painfull growth is on the bottom of my foot. I supposed to go tomorrow at 5:30.
I am supposed to take Nana for an X-Ray ASAP.
I am supposed to send an email telling my Uncle that Nana is in the Hospice program.
I don't feel like it.
I know that is bad and I don't care.
When he finally shows up to pay her bills, maybe he will find out.
If he shows up.
Isn't that just pathetic of him?
My kids are night owls.
My kids love to sleep late in the very dark house.
It is dark because the shutters are still up, waiting for the next hurricane.
I want to scrapbook and sew and create.
I don't have the time to get into it.
I gotta slow life down.
I gotta organize life.
I gotta get on a schedule.
I have so much to do, it isn't even funny.
I gotta pack up the rest of Mom's house.
Take it to charity and storage.
I gotta clean it up and clean up the landscaping.
Then I gotta hire a Realtor and get it up for sale.
I gotta clean out my home.
I gotta put it in storage.
I gotta DO my landscaping.
We gotta finish the last details of remodel.
Then I gotta hire a Realtor and get it up for sale.

Good grief.

I gotta go to bed. Mikey will be here at 6 a.m.

Chuckle

I told the Lord, many time, I would love to arise at 5 a.m. I get so much more done. I never can seem to drag my arse out of bed. Sooooo, he sends my my nephew to care for... at the ASS CRACK OF DAWN.

And the Lord said... " GET YOUR ARSE OUT OF BED, DAUGHTER, AND GET SO MUCH MORE DONE! "

:)

Homeschooling update

Really struggling to get anything done. LOL Hurricanes, preparing mom's house and my brother's arrival has thrown us so off course. BUT, that is OKAY. :) I love that it is OKAY.

Todd just finished his first week of FLVS and it is really cool. I think he is going to like learning this way and at his pace. Not to mention that the classes are Unit themed, so there is interesting curriculum to go with otherwise boring subjects. Even I learned how to capture images on the internet and plug them into a document. We both thought that was THE coolest thing.

Nathan announced to me in the library that he was ready for Chapter books. That was a shock. He was reading the "steps" in the "Step into Reading" books... and what number each ability was on and he told me he was ready for Chapter books.. so that would be a number 4, I think.

One day this week, I decided we had to do SOMETHING this week. SO, I had been taping alot of cool stuff off Discovery Channel. HOW IS IT MADE, is a show we are currently addicted too. So, we watched 3 episodes of that and then we watched a show entitle BEFORE THE DINOSAURS. That discussed evolution of the underwater creatures. Absolutely fascinating. That lead into a debate, between the oldest and I, over where Humans came from. Scientifically it made perfect sense to him that we evolved from Monkeys. I explained how, Biblically, that thought process was flawed. He had a hard time placing faith and belief in that.
:(

My school room looks like a Tornado hit it. :) Must mean it is used alot. LOL

Anyway, school will start back up Tuesday and be in full force by next week. I need to write a unit study for Nathan. The Solar System thing was a wash. He loves dogs and anything even remotely related to dogs. I think we will do a unit on that. That should keep his interest.

Anyway, I should go to bed. It is 12:30 and the sun rises in 6 hours. Perhaps I should sleep.

Too many freaking details..

Well, I reached my point of saturation. I have to much on my plate and I am drowning in it all. Something had to go and it was my job that went. I don't regret it and I don't feel bad about it. It was the right decision. Like I talked about in a previous post, my perspective on what is important in life has drastically changed this summer. My family, my children and my education are top of the list.

I have to school my kids and run my house. I have to care for my Nana's medical and emotional needs. I have to care for my precious Nephews. I have to get my home and my mother's home ready to be put up for sale. These things must happen without interruption and must have my full attention. The details to all of this are enormous and consuming.

It is the right course for now and I am trying very hard to stay afloat.

getting some focus

I think I am pulling it together a bit. I had another meltdown Friday night. It wasn't pretty. My poor husband, God Bless him, just held on me and listened to me and didn't run. Anyway, I felt alot better and I was able to go to my Mom's house on Saturday and not cry while I was there. I was also able to accomplish so much. However, I fell apart on Saturday night, but not as badly. Today was good too, except I cried all the way from my house to Mom's house. I was bringing Quincy to Ricky and it was breaking my heart. Anyway, some moments are good and some are bad, but for the most part... I think I will make it.