End of the year musings

First and foremost... does anyone know how to make the introduction, over there on the right, change? I am not pushing 30 whatever anymore. I am now pushing 37. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

:) Okay. I have had the year from Hell and I only have one more shoe to drop and I am ready for that. I have been very lost, depressed and angry. I went from leaning on the Lord.. to running as far away as I could get. I have doubted and questioned and railed and blamed. But, thankfully He loves me and is still standing next to me.. poking me every now and then.

I am still muddling through Homeschooling and I have more moments of doubts, than I have of security. I read what other parents are doing on the message boards.. amazing. They got their kids doing all kinds of indepth studying and making books and reports and time lines and other educational things on any given subject. I look at what I have done and it is NOTHING. I really haven't taught a thing. Of course, I have damn good reason for it. LOL But, next month the reasons will be mute. SO, I will walk this path of uncertainty and hopefully I will have something to show for it.

I am was signed up for college, but have made a decision to drop out. The timing is all wrong and we will need the money to make the car payment we are about to create... ( no thanks to the asshole who hit us and ran with no supposed insurance. ) ANYWAY. I need to wait a bit. Besides finances, I am not ready mentally for this.

Hmmmmm, hopefully in two weeks, my Mom's house will be marketable. I don't want to deal with the house, but I am being pushed into it. The house has to sell. It has to go quick. I gotta make that car payment go away, and her mortgage payment and the debt I owe to my In-Laws.

So, on to the following year. http://www.xanga.com/MrsCatherine has a challenge for her readers. I think this comes from an email that is cycling around the net. Find 3 or more skills or things you want done by yourself, that you would like to learn ( that concerns home ) this year.


I got a long list, but I am trying to keep it feasable and prioritized.

• learn how to cook
• unclutter to the point of orginization and easy maitenance, so I am not a slave to the cleaning of the home
• get back into gardening again
• catch up on the NOW two years of scrapping that I am behind.
• lose the over 100 lbs that I am hauling around
• learn how to homeschool the kids to their advantage
• turn Finn into a therapy dog
• Get all the debts paid off, the bills on automatic payment and a regular savings going on

I hope that will be accomplished.

I am starting to feel like Job in the bible

Funny, but not funny.

Look at the list from my last post and then add the BOIL I have in a very private part of my body. BOIL... Job had boils.

ROFLMAO

Okay, I have had enough

SO far this year...

My doggy died
My Mommy died
My Nana is dieing and I had to put her in a home
My Mom in Law had a brush with possible heart problems
My home has been broken into, while we were in it
My car has been hit by a hit and run driver

I won't even go into the vehicle repair problems we have had this year.
Or my mental health problems.

I am telling you, I have had it. I am DONE.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, where are the blessings?

Lets see if I can find some.

My Mom didn't have to suffer for long
I got to spend some quality time with my brother
I was left a sum of money that helped carry us through
My husband was able to earn a considerable amount of money at his job
We chose to homeschool our children
I finally signed up for college
My Nana is safe and cared for PROPERLY
Her son is forced to do some of his responsibilities
My MIL found out she is healthy as a horse
I have an incredible group of friends that I wouldn't leave
I inherited 3 new dogs to love
I was awakened to the VALUE of my life
I was able to find the courage to quit my part time job
I am LEANING on the Lord
HE has my attention again.